Relationship Theory

Using the Law of Attraction Theory

Jamie Anita Christensen

PSYC 325: Research Design

3962 West Dunkeld Street

South Jordan, UT 84095

Jamie.Christensen@firston.com

Instructor: Dwight Adams

Abstract

Relationship theory using the Law of Attraction theory is the combination of thought and love which forms the irresistible force of the law of attraction. Why do we choose our mate and what makes us attracted to each other? “The principle which gives the thought the dynamic power to correlate with its object, and therefore to master every adverse human experience, is the law of attraction, which is another name for love. This is an eternal and fundamental principle inherent in all things, in every system of philosophy, in every Religion and in ever Science. There is no getting away from the law of love. It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible.” Charles Haanel

Table of Contents:

Introduction                                                                                                      3

Why We Choose our Mate                                                                               3

Relating to Our Partner and Dating                                                                    7

Relationships and Intimacy                                                                                8

How Does the Law of Attraction Play Apart in Relationships                 10

Methods                                                                                                           10

Limitations                                                                                                        14

Analyze                                                                                                            14

Discussion                                                                                                        20

Conclusion                                                                                                       22

Hypothesis                                                                                                       23

Defined Questions                                                                                            23

References                                                                                                       25

Relationship Theory

Using the Law of Attraction Theory

July 22, 2007

Introduction

“The predominant thought or the mental attitude is the magnet, and the law is that like attracts like, consequently, the mental attitude will invariably attract such conditions as correspond to its nature.” – Charles Haanel, 1866. What is the Law of Attraction? According to Abraham Hicks (2007) it is Universal Laws that govern the universe. It is the most powerful law in the universe. The Universal law is the basic principles of life and has been around since creation. Universal laws apply to everyone, and everywhere. They cannot be changed and they cannot be broken.

The law of attraction is the law of creation. Quantum physicists tell us the entire universe emerged through thought! You create your life through your thoughts and the law of attraction, and everyone does the same (Bob Procter, 2006). How does this play out in our lives? The first step is to ask, because the Universe responds to your thoughts, desires and knows what you want. The second step is to believe in the unseen and believe your desire is already yours. The third step is to receive, and feel wonderful about it (Rhonda Byrne, 2006).

How does this play a part in relationships? “It is the combination of thought, and love which forms the irresistible force of the law of attraction. The principle which gives the thought the dynamic power to correlate with its object, and therefore to master every adverse human experience, is the law of attraction, which is another name for love. This is an eternal, and fundamental principle inherent in all things, in every system of philosophy, in every Religion and in ever Science. There is no getting away from the law of love. It is feeling that imparts vitality to thought. Feeling is desire and desire is love. Thought impregnated with love becomes invincible.” Charles Haanel

There are other relationship theories that play apart in this study and the following four questions need to be answered:

1. Why do we choose our mate and what makes us attracted to that person?
2. How can we relate to our partner or dating?
3. Why does intimacy play a role in our lives?
4. How does the Law of Attraction play apart in relationships?

Why We Choose Our Mate

According to Knoth (1988) men and women differ in sexual functioning and these differences are looked at through stereotypes of males and females. In recent years there have been some sexual differences in sexual behavior. In recent times female sexuality has been encouraged more than in the past. Each individual tends to focus on their past, present, and future, which the individual develops a timeline for events in their lives. The individual has a tendency to attach certain things that are important in their future.

People that have more time looking for a mate tend to be intolerant of differences of opinion in their mate, because they might prefer perfection in their relationships. These individuals could see a difference of opinion as a threat for the maintenance of their relationship; as a result they tend to be more intolerant to differences of opinion. Individuals that have shortened future time finding a mate may not mind differences of opinion, because they might not think those differences will disrupt the planning of a long-term relationship, and the difference of opinion can easily be tolerated. People that have more time finding a mate are likely to give more importance to knowledge and mutual disclosure. The escalation of mutual self-disclosure is associated with deeper intimacy (Knoth, 1988).

 People that have less future time orientation, and who live on a daily basis, may not seek information about the other person, and may not give the proper information about themselves, because their not planning for a long-term or intimate relationship. On the other hand people with extended time for relationships in the need for intimacy may need to clear their doubts about their partner, and their relationship in order to sustain a healthy relationship. In terms of individuals looking for relations and giving attribution are more likely to report relationship-enhancing attributions. Relationship-attributions are associated with trust, which is considered to be built over time through the process of minding (Ozkan, 2004).

 For people that are not seeking long-term relationships, the need for trust may not be the most important factor, since they are found to readily terminate their relationships. On the other hand, for the sake of the continuation of their relationships, people with extended time orientations may give more benefit of doubt for their partners. People with extended future orientations may have advantages, and disadvantages regarding satisfaction of their relationships. On the other hand, for the knowledge and attribution part, people with the extended future time orientations are in a favorable position in terms of relationship satisfaction, because they do not jump quickly into relationships, they tend to be more informed about their partners, and they trust their partner with a meaningful long term relationship. People who have extended time tolerate differences between partners; they have to be well-minded, and be satisfied with their decision of maintaining a long term relationship (Ozkan, 2004).

Relating to Our Partner and Dating

According to Benz (2005) both men and women tend to believe that men tend to deceive women about their financial status and level of commitment, and women tend to deceive men about their physical attractiveness. Both sexes tend to except deception from the opposite sex about these characteristics, but the opposite sex tends to be aware of these likely deceptions. This research predicted women should be more wary than men of deception strategies commonly used by the opposite sex because women have more to lose from deception by the opposite sex. Women indicated in the research that they tend to exaggerate physical features over both future career goals, and the amount of money that they earn. Women also indicated that they are more likely to exaggerate either future career goals, or money earned over future fitness goals.

A possible finding for this explanation in regards to exaggerating fitness goals was admission that the women were out of shape.  Men indicated that women would be equally likely to exaggerate physical attractiveness or future fitness goals over future career goals. Possibly when men think of fitness goals, the image that comes to their mind is that of workout videos in which the fitness instructors are attractive females. Women expected the deception of finances were more likely. Both men and women agreed that men were the most likely to be deceptive about financial matters (Benz, 2005).

 Men did not assume deception by women regarding physical attractiveness, financial matters, or commitment. Both men and women agreed most likely what men would lie about. Men believe that women lie about fitness goals and physical attractiveness where women think they mostly lie about career goals. This difference might be because of our changing society. Men may continue to value traditional gender qualities in women, the importance of career issues may be of greater importance to women. The women in the research study said that other women were more likely to think that they would lie about career goals. Men and women often deceive each other to gain access to the things the other person possesses. The conflicts between men and women can be overwhelmed by deception (Benz, 2005).

According to Campbell (2004) Monogamy tends to equalize competition between the sexes. Women tend to show greater restraint in their use of direct intrasexual aggression, which can be argued due to their higher parental involvement, and the greater risk of being a parent, because of the cost of injury or death. Women have a competitive side when it comes to competing for their mate by advertising qualities valued by men.

Relationships and Intimacy

According to Lewandowski (2004) when meeting someone for the first time when sexually aroused can promote romantic attraction to the other person. The initial romantic attraction has a significant affect of moderate magnitude. The explanation for the arousal-attraction effect has emphasized that arousal may help with romantic attraction from that person giving affection to the other. Another possibility could be meeting the other person in circumstances that are a little bit more challenging. Their has been longitudinal studies done in social psychology demonstrating that meeting an appropriate stranger when one is aroused increases the chance of experiencing romantic feelings towards this person.

Men who encountered the other person in an exciting way were more sexual and romantic towards the other person. The main idea is that emotion results from the physiological arousal that is from the other person. The true source of the arousal has to be mysterious.  Arousal interacted more with people that were viewed as attractive, and they became more attractive, while those viewed as unattractive became less attractive in highly aroused situations. Research showed that the arousal source in supporting the claim by manipulating the participant’s focus on the arousal source in which they found no effect for focus of attention (Lewandowski, 2004).

There have been studies done on analyzing participant’s accounts of falling in love, they found unusual experiences were often mentioned. This research finds that it might not be arousal but the challenge associated with the arousal. Challenge creates a sense of self expansion, which can be very desirable. When it is desirable and is associated with a potential romantic partner, the desirable state becomes linked with that person, creating attraction. When the circumstances do not involve challenge, but the arousal on attraction might arise if challenge is present. Arousal could come to take on the positive affective qualities of challenge. Research had found the number of people that had recently fallen in love that they meet their partner in a situation that was challenging, and there were different stages in the relationship development through different times in a person’s life (Lewandowski, 2004).  

There is no question why human beings are drawn to the physical aspects of intimacy for many reasons; most things mentioned were reproduction and pleasure. Recognizing different ideals between intimacy and the conflicts between human extinct in the domain of human sexuality may shed light on the problems associated with the most pleasurable aspect of the human existence (Goldenberg, 2002).

How does the Law of Attraction play apart in relationships?

“We are creators of our own Universe, and that every wish that we want to create will manifest in our lives. Therefore our wishes, thoughts, and feelings are very important because they will manifest.” –Marie Diamond, 2006

When it comes to relationships you have to enjoy your self, so others can enjoy your company to. The law of attraction is about bringing the things that you want into your life. You have to get clear in what you really want in your life to make it happen. Do you treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you? If you do not treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, you can never change the way things are. If you do not treat yourself with love and respect, you are emitting a signal out into the Universe that you are not important enough, worthy enough, or deserving enough. That signal that you put off will attract other situations and people who do not treat you well. People are just the effect of your thoughts and actions that you put out. You have to treat yourself with love, and respect, and you will get people in your life that share the same things. They will treat you the way you want to be treated (Byrne, 2006).

Methods

The method chosen was a depression survey done before the experiment to see where each subject was at emotionally, and to see if their attitude would change or stay the same after the experiment was over. After the survey was given to each test subject they were given an experiment to test the theory of the Law of Attraction. Each subject was given a piece of paper that reflected their ideal thing in life and what they wanted.

The theoretical group was chosen at 1:00 p.m. in a residential neighborhood on July 8, 2007. The sampling took place in Kearns Utah.

Limitations

There were limitations for the research that took place. The sampling was not very big due to the time of the class period of eight weeks. There was a lack of funding to gather more data, drive time, and not enough time to gather the data, due to lack of funds. There were some limitations in finding the sampling, not everyone wanted to participate in the study. There was a lack of time finding more samples that wanted to do the study, because of that I was only able to find five subjects to participate in the experiment. The accuracy of the experiment should be tested over a longer period of time to see if it actually can be proven to be accurate.

Analyze

The main conclusion from the test group came up with these answers:

You’re Observation of the Law of Attraction over the next week:

1. How do you feel? Every test subject said they felt great over the week using the law of attraction and thinking about their desires and goals that they desired to achieve.
2. Did you achieve your desire? The first test subject liked a missionary that had been on a mission for the past two years. She had been writing him letters over the two years he had been gone with no response from him. He recently wrote her a letter saying that he would be off of his mission in August and he would really like to take her out on a date. She was really excited that she had accomplished one of her desires. She was excited that he had noticed her. Now she is worried about what to wear, and she cannot wait to go shopping for her date. She loved the outcome of the way things have turned out for her, and she said that she’s going to be using the Law of Attraction in the future.

The second subject had dreams of owning a bigger house, and within the last week her husband came to her with future plans of the house that he wanted to buy. All the things that she put down as things she felt are a must in her new home; and this house had all those accommodations. Their both looking to buy their next home in August and they have already started the loan process of buying their next home.

The third test subject said everything that they thought about over the past week had come true. Everything that they thought about and wanted to happen did.

The fourth test subject said that they used the Law of Attraction every day and thought positively and good things happened to them every day that they used these principles, and they could see why using this could be beneficial in their life.

The fifth test subject said that they had more people asking them out than they ever had in their life, since they started using the law of attraction. Most of the guys that she had gone out with had some of the same qualities that she put down on her wish list and what she was looking for in a mate. She had an unusual experience happen to her at her Aunt’s golden wedding anniversary party, she wanted to go to Deph Leppard and so did her Aunt, and their was this guy that was intrigued by her and he wanted to take her out. But he was to shy to go talk to her, so he talked to her Aunt instead because she had no idea who he was. He told her Aunt that he would do anything to go out with her, and her Aunt said, “We both really want to go to Deph Leppard”, and he said “done”.” I’ll take you, your friend, and her to Deph Leppard just so I can go out with her”. Her Aunt called her the next day and told her that they were going to Deph Leppard for free in September, and they were sitting fifth row, and center from the stage. She felt that since she applied the principles, and used the Law of Attraction in her life she got three things that she desired: one was going to Deph Leppard, the second was going with her Aunt and the third thing was getting a date. She said that she’s not skeptical about using the Law of Attraction and using the basic principles in her life everyday.

3. Would you use this in your daily life? All five subjects said that they would use this in their daily life.
4. Then I had each test subject explain their results, and those things were listed above under number two.

Discussion

1. Why do we choose our mate and what makes us attracted to that person?

According to Byrne (2006) when you want to attract something into your life make sure your actions do not contradict your desires. When you want to attract your perfect life partner you have to get clear on what you want, and how you want that person to be. You can make a detailed list of all the qualities you want that person to have, and visualize that person in your life. You have to act as though you are receiving what you want. For example: If you are sleeping on one side of the bed, and if you have a two car garage, make room for another car to go there. When you think about what you are asking for make sure your actions are mirroring what you want to receive, and this could be powerful because your goal can be accomplished faster, because actions speak louder than words. “Inside relationships it is important to first understand who is coming into the relationship, and not just your partner. You need to understand yourself first”.-Lisa Nichols, 2006

2. How can we relate to our partner or dating?

According to Byrne (2006) many individuals are taught to put your self last, and as a consequence we attract feelings of being unworthy or undeserving. By feeling that the way we attract other like situations that make us feel more unworthy and undeserving. You have to change your way of thought to make other things that are more positive happen. These things can change your life. To make relationships really work, we need to focus on what we appreciate about the other person, and not on what we are complaining about. When we complain about those things we are only getting more of those things (Shimoff, 2006).

3. Why does intimacy play a role in our lives?

There is no question why human beings are drawn to the physical aspects of intimacy for many reasons, most notably reproduction and pleasure. Recognizing different ideals between intimacy and the conflicts between human extinct in the domain of human sexuality may shed light on the problems associated with the most pleasurable aspect of human existence (Goldenberg, 2002).

4. How does the Law of Attraction play apart in relationships?

According to Charles Haanel (1866) to become conscious of this power is to become a ‘live wire.’ The Universe is the live wire. It carries power sufficient to meet every situation in the life of every individual. When the individual mind touches the Universal Mind, it receives all its power. What we know about energy is this: You go to a quantum physicist and you say, “What creates the world?” And he or she will say, “Energy.” Describe energy. “OK, it can never be created of destroyed, it always was, always has been, everything that ever existed always exists, its moving into form and out of form.” You go to a theologian and ask the question, “What created the Universe?” And he or she will say, “God.” OK, describe God. “Always was and always has been, never can be created or destroyed, all that ever was, always will be, always moving into form, through form and out of form.” –James Ray, 2006

It is the same description but different terminology. You cannot hold love in your hand you can only feel it in your heart. It is a state of being. You can see the joy that love brings to other people’s lives, but love is a feeling. Your ability to feel and give love is unlimited and can bring harmony into your life. When you bring it into your life you are in balance with the universe. When you love everything that you can and reflect that into the universe you can feel the radiance back from others into your life. If you give love, love and respect yourself, and you’re a happy individual you will only get others with those qualities in your life that will want to share those things with you (Byrne, 2006).

Conclusion

The next step in this research is to do a longitudinal study with other test groups, and apply this experiment with others to see if it holds true, with the law of science. The things in this study were more positive than anticipated. There was so much positive feed back from the experiment on how this really helped the test group. Everything studied and applied was a success, and could be very beneficial in others to see if it works and could be helpful in other people’s lives.

Hypothesis

The paradigm:

Micro: Symbolic Interactionalism: George H. Mead

Creating the Law of Attraction

Signals are symbols:

Relationships Using the Law of Attraction

The objective was to see if the principle of the Law of Attraction could be tested, and if it had any effect on other people’s lives.

There were no limitations.

Theory of the Law of Attraction: Universal laws govern the universe. They are basic principles of life and have been around since Creation. They are laws of the Divine Universe. Universal laws apply to everyone, everywhere. They cannot be changed. They cannot be broken (Hicks, 1999).

Hypothesis:  Ask, Believe, and Receive. Ask for the desired relationship you want to have. Believe that is already yours. Receive what you have desired, and what you have wished for (Byrne, 2006).

Defined Questions

1. Why do we choose our mate and what makes us attracted to that person?
2. How can we relate to our partner or dating?
3. Why does intimacy play a role in our lives?
4. How does the Law of Attraction play apart in relationships?

The Instruments that were used was a depression survey, and an experiment that was taken by five individuals, and was followed up on in one week’s time.

The data was gathered in Kearns, Utah.

References

Joseph J. Benz, Mary K. Anderson, and Richard L. Miller (2005). Attributions of Deception in Dating Situations. The Psychological Record 55, 305-314. Retrieved July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

Anne Campbell (2004). Female Competition: Causes, Constraints, Content, and Contexts. Journal of Sex Research 41(1). Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

Bengi Oner-Ozkan (2004). Future Time Orientation in Romantic Relationships and the Minding Theory of Relating. Social Behavior and Personality 32(8), 797-804. Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

Russell Knoth, Kelly Boyd, and Barry Singer (1988). Empirical Tests of Sexual Selection Theory: Predictions of Sex Differences in Onset, Intensity, and Time Course of Sexual Arousal. The Journal of Sex Research 24 pp. 73-89. Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. (2004) Distinguishing Arousal from Novelty and Challenge in Initial Romantic Attraction between Strangers. Social Behavior and Personality 32(4), 361-372. Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

David P. Schmitt (2002). A Meta-Analysis of Sex Differences in Romantic Attraction: Do Rating Contexts Moderate Tactic Effectiveness Judgments? British Journal of Social Psychology 41(3), p387, 16p

Jamie Goldenberg, Cathy Cox, Tom Pyszynski, Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon (2002). Understanding Human Ambivalence about Sex: The Effects of Stripping Sex of Meaning. Journal of Sex Research 39(4), p310, 11p. Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on Ebscohost.

 Rhonda Byrne (2006). The Secret. Hillsboro, Oregon: Beyond Words Publishing

Abraham Hicks (1999) Hicks Publications Retrieved on July 13, 2007 on www.Abraham-hicks.com